flourish_or_perish: ([an] looking away from you)
Faye Valentine ([personal profile] flourish_or_perish) wrote2022-01-15 10:08 am

Outside MHA #8 | Late Saturday Morning

It was a little weird how little time it had taken Faye to pack up everything important enough to take with her; she'd been here for a year, now, but there still wasn't all that much. A few odds and ends -- gifts she'd been given, dresses she'd worn to parties that she wanted to remember. A betamax tape, which was the whole reason she was even packing up her things.

It had been a good year. She'd needed a year like this, and she could admit that to herself, now -- but she could also acknowledge that it had been like hiding. An okay sort of hiding. An allowed, necessary kind of hiding. She'd needed this time -- and, fine, these people -- in order to get to...here.

But on that note, as tempted as she was to simply throw her bag over her shoulder and sneak off to her ship, her year of -- getting to here (what other, more willingly introspective people might call growth) meant that she didn't and, moreover, couldn't.

So here she was, knocking lightly on Stark's door, half-hoping that he wasn't home, and half-knowing that even if he wasn't she'd go find him to say goodbye properly.

[for the alien mentioned and, yes, this is Faye's last post in Fandom!]
stykera: (headtilt)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 03:29 pm (UTC)(link)
"You knocked," Stark said, giving her a curious look once he opened the door. "You have a key. You don't need to knock."
stykera: (wait what)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Stark frowned and stepped back from the doorway so she could step inside.

"Why not? Is something wrong?"
stykera: (a little unhappy)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)
There was no universe in which this could ever have been a quick and easy conversation.

"You..." Stark started, then shook his head, reaching forward to shut the door. This wasn't an open door sort of talk.

"You're leaving? Again?" His voice had gotten very small. "But...will you sit? Please?"
stykera: (not looking at you)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, it was better. But that was a very low bar to clear.

"You promised you wouldn't do that," Stark reminded her, looking down at the floor as he walked over to sit on the couch.
stykera: (looking away)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
"But you did stay. And you...I...I thought we were, that you were..."

There were a lot of things Stark wanted to say right now but words were difficult at the moment.

"Where are you going?"
stykera: (little bit heartbroken)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 05:30 pm (UTC)(link)
"We could find a way to watch it here," Stark pointed out. "I could help. Or I could help with the doctor. Or...I don't know. I could help. If you let me."

"You don't have to be alone," he added after a pause.
stykera: (angry with mask)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
"Of course it's something to do with me. You're leaving me. And the last time you left on your own you ended up ill and handcuffed on a bed!"

And Stark had been terrified and that, and feeling he was about to be abandoned, was why he was snapping at her now.

"I know I...I know this is yours to deal with. But that doesn't mean you can't have help."
stykera: (concerned)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 06:09 pm (UTC)(link)
"What if you need it? What if something happens? Something happened last time! I don't want anything to happen to you!"

There were any number of terrible scenarios running through Stark's mind right now.

"What if I need help?" he asked in a much quieter voice.
stykera: (this is upsetting)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 06:37 pm (UTC)(link)
"You don't get to decide what I need!"

That went both ways. Stark knew that.

"And you don't know I'll be fine. I wasn't before. I haven't been fine...often. I wasn't fine when I was left behind before."

"And I don't know that you will be. I want you to be. Will you let me know? Please? Don't just...please don't just disappear."
stykera: (soda pressed)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Stark was not good at clean breaks. Or messy ones. He ought to be better at endings than he was, considering what he was, but letting go was never something he was good at.

"I don't think I have a choice," he said. "That has to be enough, doesn't it?"
stykera: (sad)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
"Are you sure?"

About leaving, or about it being the right choice, or about not forgetting. Or about all of that, and more.
stykera: (eye)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 07:24 pm (UTC)(link)
"I would never want to keep you from doing something you need to do," Stark said softly. "I'm not going to try and stop you. But can you...would you stay a little while? Just a little. This isn't how I want to say goodbye. I don't want to say goodbye at all but I don't want to be angry and I don't want..."

If this was going to be the last time they saw each other he didn't want it to be just an argument. He'd regret that forever.
stykera: (searching for the right words)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 07:51 pm (UTC)(link)
"A little while then." A little while was better than no time at all.

"I...can...I don't know how to do this," Stark admitted. "I've never..."

Zhaan had died and the other Zhaan had simply vanished without a word and he had no experience with this sort of ending.
stykera: (looking sideways)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
"No!" Stark's response was immediate and more vehement than was probably warranted.

"No." He shook his head. "It wouldn't. That's not easier I just know how to do it. But right now..."

Right now he wanted to move over and pull her into his arms and not let go until he had to.

stykera: (my head hurts)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
They were so very, very far past the point where this could have been uncomplicated.

Stark started to pull his arm away, then stopped. "It's...I would have done things differently. If I'd known. I would have...there's so much I would have done."
stykera: (searching for the right words)

[personal profile] stykera 2022-01-15 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
"That's not what I meant," Stark protested. "Not trying to change your mind. I meant...I would have made sure we went somewhere warm, once. Like we'd talked about. Or just out somewhere. Things like that. I would have told you I sleep better with you here. Things I thought there would be time for. I would have made you more pancakes."

The pancakes were still not a euphemism.

"I would have told you more, out loud, that I love you." He'd always been a little worried about doing so, after what happened the first time.