Faye Valentine (
flourish_or_perish) wrote2022-01-15 10:08 am
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Outside MHA #8 | Late Saturday Morning
It was a little weird how little time it had taken Faye to pack up everything important enough to take with her; she'd been here for a year, now, but there still wasn't all that much. A few odds and ends -- gifts she'd been given, dresses she'd worn to parties that she wanted to remember. A betamax tape, which was the whole reason she was even packing up her things.
It had been a good year. She'd needed a year like this, and she could admit that to herself, now -- but she could also acknowledge that it had been like hiding. An okay sort of hiding. An allowed, necessary kind of hiding. She'd needed this time -- and, fine, these people -- in order to get to...here.
But on that note, as tempted as she was to simply throw her bag over her shoulder and sneak off to her ship, her year of -- getting to here (what other, more willingly introspective people might call growth) meant that she didn't and, moreover, couldn't.
So here she was, knocking lightly on Stark's door, half-hoping that he wasn't home, and half-knowing that even if he wasn't she'd go find him to say goodbye properly.
[for the alien mentioned and, yes, this is Faye's last post in Fandom!]
It had been a good year. She'd needed a year like this, and she could admit that to herself, now -- but she could also acknowledge that it had been like hiding. An okay sort of hiding. An allowed, necessary kind of hiding. She'd needed this time -- and, fine, these people -- in order to get to...here.
But on that note, as tempted as she was to simply throw her bag over her shoulder and sneak off to her ship, her year of -- getting to here (what other, more willingly introspective people might call growth) meant that she didn't and, moreover, couldn't.
So here she was, knocking lightly on Stark's door, half-hoping that he wasn't home, and half-knowing that even if he wasn't she'd go find him to say goodbye properly.
[for the alien mentioned and, yes, this is Faye's last post in Fandom!]
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Like, in a general sense, as well as right at this moment.
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"Why not? Is something wrong?"
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"You..." Stark started, then shook his head, reaching forward to shut the door. This wasn't an open door sort of talk.
"You're leaving? Again?" His voice had gotten very small. "But...will you sit? Please?"
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See? Wasn't that better?
Even if it was in part that she knew if she left without saying anything, he'd probably come after her again, and she wanted to cut that impulse off at the pass, too.
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"You promised you wouldn't do that," Stark reminded her, looking down at the floor as he walked over to sit on the couch.
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And she had partly because of him, which was a bittersweet thing in and of itself.
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There were a lot of things Stark wanted to say right now but words were difficult at the moment.
"Where are you going?"
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And, privately, a day she wasn't doing the things that made her feel the most like herself. Even if she never got answers but went back to bounty hunting -- well, maybe she'd come back to Fandom eventually. But the quiet and the coziness and the relative safety of this place felt more like confinement than security with every day that passed.
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"You don't have to be alone," he added after a pause.
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And Stark had been terrified and that, and feeling he was about to be abandoned, was why he was snapping at her now.
"I know I...I know this is yours to deal with. But that doesn't mean you can't have help."
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There were any number of terrible scenarios running through Stark's mind right now.
"What if I need help?" he asked in a much quieter voice.
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And she didn't need him, either, but that didn't need saying right now.
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That went both ways. Stark knew that.
"And you don't know I'll be fine. I wasn't before. I haven't been fine...often. I wasn't fine when I was left behind before."
"And I don't know that you will be. I want you to be. Will you let me know? Please? Don't just...please don't just disappear."
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She was not going to make a promise to stay in touch. She could try, but she wasn't willing to commit when she didn't know yet.
And it felt like a clean break might be a better idea, too.
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"I don't think I have a choice," he said. "That has to be enough, doesn't it?"
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About leaving, or about it being the right choice, or about not forgetting. Or about all of that, and more.
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Even if she hadn't been, she would have said as much. This was what she needed to do, and it was becoming even clearer by the minute.
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If this was going to be the last time they saw each other he didn't want it to be just an argument. He'd regret that forever.
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There wasn't a lot of point, even aside from it not being how she wanted to leave things.
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"I...can...I don't know how to do this," Stark admitted. "I've never..."
Zhaan had died and the other Zhaan had simply vanished without a word and he had no experience with this sort of ending.
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So there was that. Stark had warranted closure.
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"No." He shook his head. "It wouldn't. That's not easier I just know how to do it. But right now..."
Right now he wanted to move over and pull her into his arms and not let go until he had to.
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Again, clean break. It was tempting to try to initiate more, as a goodbye and all, but she needed to keep this as uncomplicated as possible.
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Stark started to pull his arm away, then stopped. "It's...I would have done things differently. If I'd known. I would have...there's so much I would have done."
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The pancakes were still not a euphemism.
"I would have told you more, out loud, that I love you." He'd always been a little worried about doing so, after what happened the first time.